全福太太的日记平淡而和谐地生活

A Simple and Harmonious Life: Reflections of a Housewife

孔子在《易经.系辞》里说：“凡《易》之情，近而不相得则凶“。就是说，根据易经讲述的道理，我们就可以知道，一旦亲近的人不能和睦相处，就会有不好事情发生。

所以自古以来，“家和万事兴”就是一个非常重要的话题，是我们从小就知道的一句话。作为一个离异家庭长大的孩子，我更加懂得这句话的珍贵。从小我就羡慕别人家的孩子们有家庭的温暖。我自己长大有了家庭以后，也是我最注重的事情，保持我们全家人和谐相处相敬如宾，同心同德。

中国人说的“全福太太“，是指父母健在，夫妻和睦，儿女双全。我能够有这个福气，已经非常感恩了。“福气”的意思，也是两个字连在一起得，是有“福”就要受得了“气”。作为一个太太，上面有父母，中间要跟先生和睦相处，下面要担负教育孩子们的责任，也不是那么容易做到的。

我和我的先生结婚已经20多年了。20多年如一日，转瞬即逝。我们相信古人的一句话：“死生契阔，与子成说，执子之手，与子偕老”。在我们20年结婚纪念日的时候，11岁的女儿写了一段话送给我们：

“朋友 = 有始终

男朋友 = 有始终

女朋友 = 有始终

但是你知道什么没有始终吗？

家人  = 无始终  = 我爱你!”

看了这一段话，我们非常感动。看来我们一直给孩子们讲“爱从家人开始”，已经深深印入孩子们的大脑。

人类是社会性群居动物，需要彼此交流与互动。我们经常举行“家庭聚会”，一起聊天、分享生活中的故事。一天晚上，在谈论祖先的话题后，我们的儿子幽默地这样形容我们：“爸爸是一位充满活力、兴趣广泛的商人，而妈妈则十分平静，经常静坐冥想。” 这句话生动地反映了孩子眼中我们截然不同的生活态度与处世方式。

其实人生在世，要想做到健康快乐，谈何容易哦。活着的时候，自己少病少痛一点，不要给家人烦恼和负担，死的时候也轻松地走，不要拖累家人，就不错了。从孩子们的直言就能看出，我们人类天生就是六根追六尘，明明知道妈妈这样做对身心更健康，但是却是无趣的，所以还是觉得爸爸有趣好玩。这个在佛经里面也有解释，六道也叫做”六趣“，趣向，吸引力太大。

新加坡有一个叫做许哲的女士，活到113岁。我把她的故事念给家人听，基本上是热泪满面地念完她的故事。许哲说：“我保持健康不是因为求长寿，我只是不想因病而连累他人”。我也同样是这样想的，从小到大，家人把我当铁人，好像我从来不生病，其实我是自己需要不停地修修补补。人生不论顺境还是逆境，都可以选择不随境转。顺境不骄傲，不得意忘形，逆境不气馁，不怨天尤人。自然而然可以转变自己的命运，生活幸福，而且可以帮助身边的人。

近代禅门泰斗虚云法师说：“学道人随处是家乡，放下就是道场”。我们不论走到哪里，住在哪里，孩子们都很开心。对孩子们来说，跟父母在一起就是家。

Confucius said in the Book of Changes: "When close relationships are not harmonious, misfortune follows." This highlights the importance of harmony in a family. Growing up in a divorced family, I always envied others' family warmth. When I had my own family, maintaining harmony, respect, and unity became my top priority.

In Chinese culture, "A fully blessed wife" （全福太太）refers to a woman who has living parents, a harmonious marriage, and children(one son and one daughter). I feel grateful to be so blessed. However, achieving this balance isn't easy. As a wife, I have parents to care for, a husband to get along with, and children to educate.

My husband and I have been married over 20 years. We believe in the saying: "Though we part in life and death, we are bound by promise. Holding your hand, we grow old together." A few years ago, on our 20th anniversary, our 11-year-old daughter wrote: "Family = No end = I love you!" Her words moved us deeply, showing that our teachings about family love have taken root.

Humans are social creatures who need interaction. We often have "family meetings" to chat and share stories. One evening, after talking about our ancestors, our son humorously described us: "Dad is a lively businessman with many hobbies, while Mom is calm and meditates a lot." This shows how children perceive our different approaches to life.

Living a healthy and happy life is challenging. To avoid burdening one's family and to pass away peacefully is an achievement. Our children's words reflect human nature's attraction to sensory pleasures. While they know my lifestyle is healthier, they find their father's lively interests more appealing, echoing Buddhist teachings about the six desires.

A famous Singaporean lady named Xu Zhe lived to 113 and said, "I maintain my health not for longevity but to avoid burdening others." I share this view. Despite appearing strong, I need constantly practice to maintain my health. Life's circumstances shouldn't dictate our happiness. By staying humble in good times and resilient in bad, we can change our destiny, live happily, and help others.

Zen master Xu Yun said, "Home is wherever you are; letting go is the way." For our children, being with their parents is home, no matter where we are.