Confucius said in the Book of Changes: "When close relationships are not harmonious, misfortune follows." This highlights the importance of harmony in a family. Growing up in a divorced family, I always envied others' family warmth. When I had my own family, maintaining harmony, respect, and unity became my top priority.
In Chinese culture, "A fully blessed wife" (全福太太)refers to a woman who has living parents, a harmonious marriage, and children(one son and one daughter). I feel grateful to be so blessed. However, achieving this balance isn't easy. As a wife, I have parents to care for, a husband to get along with, and children to educate.
My husband and I have been married over 20 years. We believe in the saying: "Though we part in life and death, we are bound by promise. Holding your hand, we grow old together." A few years ago, on our 20th anniversary, our 11-year-old daughter wrote: "Family = No end = I love you!" Her words moved us deeply, showing that our teachings about family love have taken root.
Humans are social creatures who need interaction. We often have "family meetings" to chat and share stories. One evening, after talking about our ancestors, our son humorously described us: "Dad is a lively businessman with many hobbies, while Mom is calm and meditates a lot." This shows how children perceive our different approaches to life.
Living a healthy and happy life is challenging. To avoid burdening one's family and to pass away peacefully is an achievement. Our children's words reflect human nature's attraction to sensory pleasures. While they know my lifestyle is healthier, they find their father's lively interests more appealing, echoing Buddhist teachings about the six desires.
A famous Singaporean lady named Xu Zhe lived to 113 and said, "I maintain my health not for longevity but to avoid burdening others." I share this view. Despite appearing strong, I need constantly practice to maintain my health. Life's circumstances shouldn't dictate our happiness. By staying humble in good times and resilient in bad, we can change our destiny, live happily, and help others.
Zen master Xu Yun said, "Home is wherever you are; letting go is the way." For our children, being with their parents is home, no matter where we are.
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